


Reconciliation of the Hopeful Kind

by Yiffandquiff (paradisobound)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Childhood Friends, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, brief illness mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:41:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22704862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paradisobound/pseuds/Yiffandquiff
Summary: Phil has been friends with Dan for as long as he can remember. But when he leaves Dan behind to go to University, he doesn't expect for his crush on Dan to grow more when he sees how different Dan looks now. Living in Manchester, he gets called home to help with his father's sudden illness. But during this time, Phil decides to contact Dan again. Reconnecting with each other, Phil realizes he doesn't want to go back to Manchester without telling Dan how he feels first.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 5
Kudos: 62
Collections: Phandom Writers Discord 2020 Valentine's Day Gift Exchange





	Reconciliation of the Hopeful Kind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kishere](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kishere/gifts).



> Hi K! 
> 
> I really hope you like this fic! I really enjoyed writing this prompt so I hope I did it justice! 
> 
> (it's not beta'd so apologies lol)

Dan and Phil’s family were friends. So from a young age, Phil was friends with Dan. They hung out often at Dan’s family home, mostly because that is just where they always had the family get togethers. But Phil remembers just enjoying being able to hang out with Dan quite often. 

Phil’s first memory of Dan is when he was 7 years old, and they were in Dan’s backyard. Dan was running around, but the grass was still slightly soft and a bit muddy considering that the rain in Britain was always persistent. Phil doesn’t even remember why he was even running but Dan was and he slipped and fell. Dan was the younger of the two, so when he fell and scraped his knee, his eyes welled up and Phil felt bad and rushed over to him. 

He hugged Dan tight, and let Dan cry out his hurt into his shoulder before Phil found a stray leaf on the grass and put it over the very small scrape, telling Dan that that would be his bandage until they went inside. Dan had hugged him and thanked him and Phil was really grateful in that moment to be friends with Dan. 

They didn’t go the same school, mostly because Phil’s parents paid for him to go to a bit fancier school that the public grammar schools that were around. But despite the fact that they were separated by age and by school, they still always made time for the other. They hung out every day after school, normally meeting up at Dan’s house where they would sit in his bedroom and play video games or listen to music. 

But then it came time for Phil to go off to university and that’s when things grew a bit complicated. By this time, Phil was 18, a newly established adult by society, who  _ felt like  _ he had to attend university in order to make a career for himself. So he took his A-levels and applied for universities and was accepted into the University of York. 

And he was really excited to go, but the unfortunate thing was that he knew that going to York, he would be leaving Dan behind. York was three hour train ride from where they lived, and yeah, by definition it could have been further, but he and Dan had been inseparable since they were children. He wasn’t sure how he would be able to be separated from him now. 

Phil knew that Dan didn’t have many friends at his high school, and those he did have weren’t the best of friends. But that’s why Phil was already there for him, showing him that he still had a best friend despite all of the “bad” friends that he had. How could he just leave that behind for a few months out of the year? 

Phil knew that telling Dan was also going to be another problem but he wasn’t sure how Dan was going to react knowing Phil was moving to university. So when he told him, he wasn’t expecting for the response to be Dan smiling widely and throwing his arms around Phil in a congratulatory hug, telling him he was so happy for him. 

They spent the night discussing uni, and Dan made the note to tell Phil that he wasn’t planning on going to university. Phil at first thought that was odd, but when Dan explained that he needed a gap year after he was done with school, Phil understood completely. 

Two months later, Phil was packing up his bedroom and heading off to York, where he spent the next three years, barely ever coming home. It wasn’t that Phil didn’t  _ want  _ to come home. He did want to come home every once and a while and see Dan, but he could a really good secure group of mates at uni who had something planned from them every weekend. And Phil was really enjoying himself. 

Phil still talked to Dan regularly, although the calls did phase out a bit more by the end of Phil’s second year. And he did go and visit Dan and Dan did come to visit him. But then Dan got a girlfriend named Annie and suddenly, Phil knew that deep down, Annie came before him. So he stopped bothering Dan, and let Dan enjoy himself with his girlfriend without feeling like a friend getting in the way. 

It also didn’t help that he was harboring feelings deep down inside of himself for Dan that he had repressed for so long. The thing is that Phil always had an inclination that he was gay. He knew pretty young that he was attracted to men, but it wasn’t until a drunken hook up one weekend told him that he was definitely  _ not  _ into women in any way. Even kissing them he found himself repulsed. 

So deep down, knowing Dan had a girlfriend and was enjoying himself with her  _ did  _ make Phil really jealous. And he knows that that is a very irrational part of himself he shouldn’t let show but he couldn’t help it. And maybe that’s also why he stopped contacting Dan. 

He’s not entirely sure. 

But right after university, he lands a job at an publishing firm in Manchester and suddenly, he’s moved to a brand new city in a small apartment with a steady stream of income coming into his bank account. He wasn’t used to this, but he definitely knew that  _ he could  _ get used to it fast. 

It’s February the following year when he gets an unexpected call. His father is ill and he needs to come home to help his mother take care of him. It scares him at first because he doesn’t know the extent of what is happening. So he asks for paid leave from his job and temporarily moves back home to help his mum out. 

He’s only back for 24 hours when his mum suddenly says, “Have you heard from Dan lately?” 

They’re standing in the kitchen as Phil helps his mum bake a raspberry pie that the family had agreed upon. He’s taken back by the question at first but then he decides that he should be honest, “We kind of stopped talking.” 

His mum turned to him, her eyes a bit wide, “Oh that’s a shame. He was a nice boy and you two were so close.” 

“Is he still around here?” Phil asks her, not even sure why he’s asking his mum about the whereabouts of Dan when he does still have Dan’s contact info, but he does. 

“Oh yes!” She says, “I still see him when I go over to the Howell’s for wine every once and a while. You should catch up with him one day,” She adds on. “I’m sure you boys have a lot of catching up to do.” 

Phil nods his head and the conversation ends as he helps his mum finish pressing down the crust to seal the pie and then he heads to his old bedroom and grabs his phone. 

Dan is still in his contacts so he opens up the messages and sees the last text exchange between them was dated almost 6 months prior, and it was just Dan asking Phil how everything was going in Manchester. The convo didn’t catch and Dan left Phil on read which made him feel a bit awkward. 

**Phil:** _ I’m back in town for a bit if you want to catch up  _

He hits send and bites down on his tongue, waiting for Dan’s reply. It doesn’t take long, within just a few minutes, his phone buzzes and he picks it up. 

**Dan:** _ Oh shit! Are you busy tonight?  _

**Phil:** _ No i’m not  _

**Dan:** _ Oh awesome! I’ll be right over. Meet me outside. I’ll have my car  _

There is something about Dan’s messages that leave Phil’s heart fluttering rapidly in his chest. He gets up from his bed and looks down at his clothing. He’s in a pair of black skinny jeans and a yellow plaid shit. Does that look okay? He rushes to the bathroom and looks himself over and decides he thinks he looks fine. He brushes his hair and a bit with his fingers despite that it was long all over but he was perfectly content with how it looked just like how he wanted it to: like a scene kid. He fell into loving the scene hair style in his last year at uni. 

He makes his way downstairs and shoves his feet into his sneakers before he grabs his coat and wallet and goes outside just in time to see an old car pull into his driveway. Before he can comprehend anything, Dan is jumping out of the car and running for him. 

They meet halfway in the middle in a quick embrace and Phil can’t honestly believe what he is happening right now. It’s been so long since he’s seen Dan and…

_ He’s so fit.  _

Dan pulls back away and Phil swears that if he wasn’t totally in love with his best friend before, he certainly is now. Dan’s nothing like what he used to look like. Now, nearly four years after the fact, Dan’s hair is cut a bit shorter than before but he’s gained more muscle and definition in his shoulders and chest. He’s wearing an older rain jacket that’s torn a bit on the side but his shirt is a Muse tee-shirt that is fitted to his build and Phil really is completely and totally blindsided by how amazing he looks. 

“Wow, it’s been so long!” Dan says with a laugh, “You look nothing like the last time I saw you.” 

“I can say the same for you,” Phil says nervously. He feels so jittery and so nervous but he really shouldn’t be because this is his best friend. 

“I’m sure you don’t want to stay home right now so do you want to go get ice cream?” 

“From Haggerty’s?” Phil asks with a smile and Dan nods. “That place is still open.” 

“Mr. Haggerty won’t close the place until he keels over. Come on, let’s go! I think he closes soon.” 

Phil follows Dan to his car and gets inside, ignoring the bottles of soda and water thrown all over the floor and seats. He just kicks them out of his way as Dan hops inside and speeds off down the road to town. 

Phil hasn’t been into town in forever, but he realizes now how much he misses it. He misses being in the small little town centre and not the bustling bit city of Manchester. The little local places are what he misses most. 

They park on the street and Phil follows Dan inside to the little ice cream place that is still full of people despite it being February. They walk up to the counter and Dan orders vanilla and Phil pokes fun at him. But then Phil orders a complex sounding peanut butter one and Dan picks on him right back. 

They get to the till and just as Dan is opening his wallet, Phil realizes he doesn’t want Dan to pay for his own. He wants to buy Dan’s ice cream for him. He doesn’t know why he suddenly feels like he wants to but he does and so before Dan can even pull out a fiver, Phil pulls out twenty quid and pushes it on the counter. 

“Phil...I can pay for my own.” 

“I want to pay for you,” Phil says. 

If Phil wasn’t paying any attention, he wouldn’t have noticed the way Dan’s cheeks flared up a bit red and he looked away, breaking eye contact as he picked up his ice cream and began to eat it. 

They went to the little shops in town that were still open, and as they walked from place to place and they talked about what’s changed or hasn’t changed since Phil left, Phil finds himself getting sentimental about everything. The one thing Phil hates is the thought of getting old, so seeing everything change around him is a bit scary and he’s trying to not think about it. Although at a time like this, he can’t help it. 

But then they go into a small little toy shoppe on the corner of the old main street and Dan notices a gengar plushie and talks about how much he wants it for his collection but doesn’t have the money to spend £15 on a stuffed animal. 

So Phil picks it up and buys it instead and gives it to Dan who doesn’t have any words. 

As they head back to Dan’s car, Dan elbows Phil softly in the side and says, “Are you my sugar daddy now?” 

And Phil laughs because as silly as it sounds, he wouldn’t mind being one for Dan. Realistically though, he can’t ever be that for Dan. He can’t be anything with Dan because Dan is straight and as far as Phil knows, still has a girlfriend. 

But that’s for a different time and a different place. 

Phil spends the night at Dan’s house that night and they share a bed. The first time they have shared one since they were teenagers. Dan’s bed is a bit on the small side but it still is nice for Phil to fall asleep feeling the warmth of Dan next to him. 

The next few days pass the same way. They fall back into their old habit and old routine. They hang out every day and then normally end up spending the night together. But it doesn’t really feel any different until suddenly, it does. 

It’s a Thursday night and they’re hanging out at Dan’s place while Muse plays all around them. They’re not talking, but that’s okay with Phil as long as they spend time together. But then Dan’s phone goes off and Dan answers it and it’s a few seconds in when Phil sees the actual panic on Dan’s face. 

Dan immediately hangs up and throw his phone off to the side and pretends to act like nothing had happened. So Phil doesn’t say anything, but then it begins to eat at him and he finally does ask, “Who was that?” 

Dan turns to him and shrugs his shoulders as he says, “My ex-girlfriend.” 

Phil feels like the breath dislodges from his throat as he sits up straighter on the bed next to Dan and repeats, “Ex-girlfriend?” 

Dan just nods and then shakes his head, “Rather not talk about her if that’s okay.” 

Phil respects that and nods and nothing more is mentioned about her the rest of the time. 

A few days after, Phil gets a call from his boss in Manchester that tells him his paid leave is about to run out and he’ll be expected to work the following week for his regular schedule. Phil hates that. He hates knowing that he has to go back, but his father is getting better and getting treatments now and his mum is a lot better off than she was before. His brother Martyn is also here now helping so Phil feels a bit less guilty about leaving. 

But he hates knowing he’s going to be leaving Dan again. 

They were just getting back to establishing their old relationship and Phil was really liking that. But now that’s going to be broken again and Phil’s not sure he’s ready to handle that. Not to mention, Phil is also coming to terms that he’s very much in love with Dan. 

He wants Dan to his boyfriend and he wants nothing more than to ask Dan to consider that. But he’s scared because he doesn’t even know if Dan likes guys. What if Dan doesn’t and then he rejected Phil? Their friendship would be over and Phil would hate himself more because of that. 

But Valentine’s Day is in a few days now, and Phil wants to tell Dan. He wants to confess to Dan that he’s in love with him and he wants to be more than friends. In fact, he’s wanted that for what feels like forever now. 

So he goes to Tesco and buys Dan some flowers. He knows that isn’t the most romantic thing one can do but Tesco is all they have in the small little town so Phil has to take what he can get. 

He gets Dan a card and a teddy bear to go along with it and he makes plans with Dan to meet up at Phil’s house since his mum and dad are gone out to dinner for the holiday and his brother is gone out as well with his girlfriend. 

Dan gets to his house when he says that he will and Phil meets him at the door with a smile as Dan smiles back, but then laughs, “I feel like something weird is about to happen.” 

Phil’s smile falters but he ignores the slight humiliation he feels in his chest and decides to continue the plan anyway. He invites Dan inside and they go to the living room where the flowers and teddy bear are sitting on the coffee table. 

“Oh, did your dad get those for your mum?” Dan asks. “They’re very pretty.” 

Phil shakes his head and walks forward and then takes a deep breath, “I got them for you, actually.” 

“For me?”

Phil nods and Dan walks forward, taking the teddy bear and card into his hands and looking them over with a nervous expression. 

“I really like you, Dan.” Phil begins. “For a while I’ve liked you as more than just a friend but I didn’t know if you felt the same way so I never told you my feelings. But this is me, potentially looking like a fool, as I ask you to please be more than friends with me...and be my boyfriend?” 

Dan’s face changes for a second and Phil’s already bracing for the rejection but then, “Phil, I’ve liked you since I was 13,” comes out of Dan’s mouth instead. 

Phil looks at Dan who is smiling like an idiot as he sets down the teddy bear and the card to walk forward to Phil and wrap his arms around Phil’s neck., “I have had  _ the  _ biggest crush on you since I was 13. But I didn’t know you were gay so I never said anything.” 

“That’s why I never said anything too!” Phil says. 

Dan just shakes his head and then leans forward, pressing a kiss on Phil’s cheek. Phil turns his head slightly, chasing the kiss as he leans forward and connects their lips together. The spark is nearly instant, and Phil grips his arms around Dan tighter, almost as if he’s afraid to let Dan go. 

Phil doesn’t know how long they kiss for, but they do end up spending a hefty time making out and making up for lost time on Phil’s parents couch. But by the time they do separate, Dan curls onto Phil’s chest and they both fall asleep, just as happy as can be. 

One week later, Phil goes back to Manchester to continue his life but this time, he’s bringing more than just himself. Because Dan is moving in with him in his flat. 

People may say that they’re moving their relationship too fast. But As Phil kisses Dan and they start making their way to the bedroom in his flat, Phil smiles to himself. Because he’s been waiting nearly 10 years for this moment, he thinks 10 years is long enough. 


End file.
